Nicky's probably wondering if Ahkmenrah is going to be his new big brother, which would be a cool dynamic to see, actually, and Larry's...I don't even know. Sacajawea decided she would rather stick to what she knows best, and Ahk, well, I think that's the closest his face will ever get to "Yeah, we owned those punks."
As promised, this is the For the Love of NATM Christmas special. We'll have caroling, cosplays, maybe a costume contest or two, secret Santas, and, of course, every form of NATM-themed fun you could possibly want or need. So let's begin, shall we?
Deck the Halls of the Museum:
Deck the halls with lots of tablets,
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Tis the season to stay up all night,
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Don we now our cosplay works,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la la
And we try to keep our jobs,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
The 12 Days of a Museum Christmas:
On the first day of Christmas, the night guard gave to me
A magical tablet from Egypt.
On the second day of Christmas, the night guard gave to me,
Two crazy cavemen and a magical tablet from Egypt.
On the third day of Christmas, the night guard gave to me,
Three scheming old guys, two crazy cavemen, and a magical tablet from Egypt.
On the fourth day of Christmas, the night guard gave to me,
Four slapping monkeys, three scheming old guys, two crazy cavemen, and a magical tablet from Egypt.
On the fifth day of Christmas, the night guard gave to me,
Five big dog bones, four slapping monkeys, three scheming old guys, two crazy cavemen, and a magical tablet from Egypt.
On the sixth day of Christmas, the night guard gave to me,
Six Twenties gangsters, five big dog bones, four slapping monkeys, three scheming old guys, two crazy cavemen, and a magical tablet from Egypt.
On the seventh day of Christmas, the night guard gave to me,
Seven rockets launching, six Twenties gangsters, five big dog bones, four slapping monkeys, three scheming old guys, two crazy cavemen, and a magical tablet from Egypt.
On the eighth day of Christmas, the night guard gave to me,
Eight creepy gates, seven rockets launching, six Twenties gangsters, five big dog bones, four slapping monkeys, three scheming old guys, two crazy cavemen, and a magical tablet from Egypt.
On the ninth day of Christmas, the night guard gave to me,
Nine romantic interests, eight creepy gates, seven rockets launching, six Twenties gangsters, five big dog bones, four slapping monkeys, three scheming old guys, two crazy cavemen, and a magical tablet from Egypt.
On the tenth day of Christmas, the night guard gave to me,
Ten warlike pharaohs, nine romantic interests, eight creepy gates, seven rockets launching, six Twenties gangsters, five big dog bones, four slapping monkeys, three scheming old guys, two crazy cavemen, and a magical tablet from Egypt.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, the night guard gave to me,
Eleven Huns a-ripping, ten warlike pharaohs, nine romantic interests, eight creepy gates, seven rockets launching, six Twenties gangsters, five big dog bones, four slapping monkeys, three scheming old guys, two crazy cavemen, and a magical tablet from Egypt.
On the twelfth day of Christmas, the night guard gave to me,
Twelve enormous messes, eleven Huns a-ripping, ten warlike pharaohs, nine romantic interests, eight creepy gates, seven rockets launching, six Twenties gangsters, five big dog bones, four slapping monkeys, three scheming old guys, two crazy cavemen, and a magical tablet from Egypt.
From my as-yet-unpublished Fan Fic 100 challenge attempt for Night at the Museum:
092. Christmas
"So...you believe a fat pedophile stalker climbs down people's chimneys and leaves boxes wrapped in colorful paper under a tree that the family has cut down and covered in tiny lights and decorations?" Ahkmenrah asked.
Nick paused a moment and said, "Yeah. That's basically it."
I also expect it not to make any sense at all how, in "Do You Hear What I Hear", we have a shivering baby and someone decides to bring him silver and gold when what he clearly needs is a blanket, or how we go from that shivering baby to goodness and light. Nor will the whole Lord and Savior idea make any sense to born-and-raised polytheists. Come to think of it, a lot of what makes Christmas the holiday that it is doesn't make a lot of sense from a pagan/polytheist perspective.
If ever you want to play Ahkmenrah or Kahmunrah at a future Comic-Con or Halloween party, though if you're a girl, modifications are in order, or you could be Sacajawea or Rebecca. Or Amelia:
And finally, my gift to all of you, naughty or nice: It's the first day of the countdown, and we officially have 365 days until the release of Night at the Museum 3.
On that note, enjoy the party, the food, the music, the painted-on pants/bare-your-midriff outfits, please drink responsibly and drive safely, and party like it's...whatever year is your preference. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night. Or day, rather.
Next on "For the Love of Night at the Museum": Back to your regularly scheduled programming.
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