You're Obsessed When...

You're Obsessed With Night at the Museum When...

1. You've gone through every special feature on both DVDs, including the commentaries
2. You have the commentaries memorized
3. You have both movies on several DVD formats (platinum edition, regular, Blu-Ray, etc.)
4. You cosplay as one or more of the characters
5. Dexter is a byword for pocket-picking
6. The "bitch slap" becomes the "Dexter slap"
7. You would love to get into a slap fight with a monkey
8. You develop a complicated headcanon surrounding the tablet based on Egyptian mythology (from a similar list on FF.net)
9. You are convinced that there are certain events which should have gone differently
10. You have the movies memorized
11. You can identify each and every character no matter how small a part at the drop of a hat
12. You want to be a night guard for the rest of your life
13. You get yourself locked in a museum after hours (and get yourself arrested) hoping to see all the exhibits come to life
14. You get into huge debates over the quality and historical accuracy of each movie
15. You do a research paper on some aspect of the franchise for a class
16. You get an A on said paper
17. You seriously wonder if the Huns "took care of" Rebecca
18. You wonder what reaction the characters would have to movies such as Twilight
19. You can follow this list
20. You are eagerly awaiting NATM 3
21. You write to Santa asking for tickets to NATM 3, to be delivered in time for the release next year
22. You swoon over Ahkmenrah (in which case I wouldn't blame you)
23. You swoon over Kahmunrah (if big, muscular bad guys are your thing)
24. You write NATM-themed Christmas carols
25. You have the entire soundtrack on your mp3 player, on endless loop
26. You have endless playlists of music related to the Museum movies
27. You have binders/computer files/both full of fan fiction
28. You have binders/computer files/both full of fan art
29. You decorate your binders/planners/etc with Night at the Museum
30. You cover the walls of your room with screencaps, posters, etc.
31. You have a shrine in your closet to the movies
32. You only know who Hank Azaria is because of his parts in Night at the Museum 2
33. You cannot look at Benjamin from Breaking Dawn Part 2 without picturing him with a gold cobra on his forehead
34. You spend hours on end in a library boning up on your history in case you end up with a job like Larry's
35. The librarian already has new selections lined out for you whenever you show up
36. You figure out how many combinations of hieroglyphic symbols are possible on the tablet, excluding the instructional passages at the top (we all know one passage reads "A man with a spear trapped a bird and a sideways fish in a vase, and there was also a beetle")
37. You actually get the above quote
38. You seriously wonder if the Egyptian characters speak legitimate Egyptian
39. You decide to devote your life to figuring this out
40. When your family and friends see you spazzing out, they assume that you've learned something new about the upcoming NATM 3
41. You've planned a Christmas in advance
42. You plan 2014 around the start of filming for NATM 3, the release of the movie, and the release of the trailers
43. You insist on having these special days off from school and your family
44. You must explain why, in excruciating detail, to the uninitiated
45. You are known to give long, impassioned speeches about such obscure topics as the nature of the exhibits, the tablet, anything even remotely related to NATM
46. You plan to write a long, impassioned letter to the director if NATM 3 sucks/does not live up to your expectations
47. You wonder if the Huns speak legitimate Hun
48. You wonder how Ahkmenrah can speak Hun
49. You wonder when in the time line Ahkmenrah went to Cambridge, and if the tablet went with him or not
50. You can keep track of the loads and loads of characters in the franchise
51. You wonder who would win in a fight between Cecil and Kahmunrah
52. You are capable of impressing people with your detailed, comprehensive knowledge of all things related to Night at the Museum
53. Related to #36, you refer to Night #4 if you're too lazy to get the numbers but want them anyway
54. You carve NATM themed pumpkins every Halloween
55. Every Christmas, you set up a huge elaborate NATM themed display, often in the form of a tour through the museum through each exhibit
56. You have a NATM themed Halloween tour planned out months in advance
57. You dress up as a NATM character for Halloween, and can choose a different one every year depending on your moods/inclinations

The list as it stands. Feel free to post any additions in the comments below.

ETA 5-29-14

58. You have plans to see Secret of the Tomb on opening night
59. You are shocked that people are shocked that they're making a third Night at the Museum