Wow, hard to believe it's been a hundred nights already. By this time a few years from now, we'll be like Scheherazade. (If you don't know who that is, A Thousand and One Nights, good stuff.)
In any event, tonight I shall regale all of you with how to write a proper Night at the Museum Fanfiction, one that you can truly, proudly share with the world.
To begin, let's take a look at your characters. Being a fanfiction, you will of course need to incorporate characters from the franchise itself, but that doesn't mean Larry needs to be your main character. You can totes write about Jed, Octavius, or Ahkmenrah if you wanted. OR you could bring in an entirely new charrie so we can all bask in your awesomeness and originality. But if you do this, she'll need to be one of a few things: night guard, distant (or not so much) relative of Larry, Dr. McPhee, or both; and she'll eventually need to fall in love with Ahkmenrah and win his undead heart even though such a relationship would never work realistically because she's a human and he's magically animated night after night and thus immortal. But who cares about all that? It's true love! They don't need to worry about temporal barriers and shit like that! Who am I kidding?
You can have basically whatever plot you want, so long as you set it at the museum. You can have time-travelling wizards come in and recruit your MC and her love interest for some weird mission or another, or you can have new exhibits come in, or whatever. Just remember, though, all this takes back stage whenever you have to have the characters bond and fall deeper in love. And have sex in the security office/on the reception desk/in the middle of the Hall of African Mammals/on the bench in the Hall of Miniatures/wherever two madly in love people can conceivably have sex. You can have no plot at all, just so long as you include the romance and coitus.
As far as everything else, if you've done the first two right, nobody should care. All you do now is publish chapters as sporadically as possible and wait for the praise to wash down on you as often as it does on God. And wait. And wait. And wait.
***
Well, I had fun. I think by this point my soul is sufficiently cleansed, and it's always nice to rib a couple of the trends I see in the world, if only once in a while just so people are aware that they exist. Tomorrow night, I'll give the serious version of all this wonderful advice, but I personally always find posts like this good for a laugh. I hope you did, too.
Next on "For the Love of Night at the Museum": But seriously, how do you write a proper fanfiction?
Countdown: 273 Days to NATM 3
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