OK, in the first part, not a lot happened, and there were a few deviations from the movie's plot but they served the same purpose as they did in the movie. And there were fewer exhibits to handle.
"Hopefully Ahkmenrah has a step-ladder or something." We love you narrator.
"Anubis is the jackal-headed god of Egyptian mythology, associated with death, mummification, and the afterlife. He is particularly important as a guardian of the dead and their tombs." Again, because EGYPT!
Holy fuck! Ahkmenrah is TERRIBLE! (It's not like the Larry Daley is a work of art or anything, but still.) And PS: how does he know where his brother's at and that he's evil? And why does he sound oddly relieved that he doesn't get to see Big Brother (I mean besides the obvious)? And I get that he's supposed to come off a bit naive in the ways of the world and have a tendency to compare modern things to ancient, but here he just comes off as slightly insane. Maybe it runs in the family. (The narrator apparently agrees with me on this point.)
"Let me give you an overview." I'll be sitting here a while.
"It lets you summon bolts of lightning." Like fucking Zeus. Sorry, but I find it very hard to believe that Ahkmenrah would literally sit there, say all this in his tutorial, and spit it all out with a straight face. I simply can't. And I can't believe the scriptwriters came up with this noise. I mean, I understand that he'd be willing to discuss the tablet, answer any questions possible, but if the second movie is anything to go by, he'd certainly be a bit more jazzed, I think. Here it's just him delivering a lecture on, oh, I don't know, proper diplomatic tact. Something boring like that. Maybe that's part of what makes this so hilarious.
It's nice to know the narrator is feeling the same way I am at this stage, because let's face it, I've seen the movie and I still think this is fucked up.
Larry said he was the son of Milton. For the love of God! Or a god! I don't care which. Whichever god, goddess, pantheon, or other form of higher power will spare me.
So apparently in this version of the video game the flashlight and key chain are "ritual tools of office" and can wield magical powers. This ain't canon. WTF?
Where the fuck did Ahkmenrah come from?
The narrator is clearly sane. "The animal ingot allows you to soothe and tame animals. This is a bit of a stretch, I would've thought the art ingot would've been more appropriate in this case." So would I, to tell the truth, but in all honesty, my suspension of disbelief is shot.
I could not believe this section at all, but evidently in game world, the tablet has a shit-ton of mystical powers that are conveniently useful for a night guard working in a magical museum. Ahkmenrah is completely out of character, and I swear it's physically impossible to describe how. (He's not hot, and he doesn't sound like Rami Malek in any capacity whatsoever, so any hope of continuity that way is out the window.) I went from laughing my ass off to wondering what the hell on pace with the narrator, and I even watched the movie. BTW, Blackjackkent, if you're reading this: watching the movie doesn't help. You're reading the proof of that. However, I find you entertaining and it helps soothe the wound a bit, as it were, so I'll keep watching.
Next on "For the Love of Night at the Museum": Part 3, "Trouble in Washington" - Finally, sounds like we're getting back on track.
Countdown: 265 Days to NATM 3
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